Identity
by Blaine-loves-Kurt
Summary: Kurt makes a realization about himself after a fight with Adam. Jerk/'nice guy!Adam. Klaine. Demisexual!Kurt


Kurt was bored. That was all there was too it. After Adam's halfhearted attempt to cheer him up, they'd gone back to the loft to find "their" movie. They were about ten minutes in when Adam took it upon himself to start trying to make out with him. At first Kurt tried to enjoy himself. How was he supposed to get over Blaine, if he hadn't even made out with anyone besides him? But after a few minutes his mind just started to wander. He couldn't stop thinking about how wet the kiss was and how horrible Adam's technique was. His mind eventually wandered away from the kiss and he started thinking about his day. Had he done everything that he needed to do at ? He hadn't left any papers in his tray had he? No. He remembered checking just before he left. What was he going to make for Santana and Rachel for dinner tonight? Would he need to go shopping or had they-. Kurt pulled away suddenly, backing away from Adam as he felt him going for the buttons on his shirt. He crossed his hands over his chest in alarm.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kurt asked scandalized

"I was trying to move things along" Adam told him confused "You know, since we were snogging and everything."

"I don't remember ever telling you that you had permission to try to take off my clothes!" Kurt said irritated as he scooted farther away from Adam. "This is delicate fabric and-"

"I don't know why you look so horrified; surely you've done this before? Weren't you dating your ex for more than a year?" Adam interrupted

"Blaine always asked before he did something so daring! And I enjoyed when he did it. You just make it feel like your groping me!" Kurt slapped his hand over his mouth when he realized what he said

"You don't want me touching you? But you like when your ex did? You don't plan to get over him at all, do you? And you've just been stringing me along, haven't you?" Adam accused, Kurt shook his head repeatedly, but Adam continued "You know I would have fine to be your rebound. "

"I don't do casual sex, Adam. I thought you knew that" Kurt told him firmly still trying to smooth it over. They could talk about Blaine later.

"I see that now. I should have listened to people when they said you were a tease and a prude! I thought you just wanted to take it slow. But now I find out you weren't even planning to let anyone fuck you anyhow."

Kurt brought his hands away from his face and he stood up quickly glaring at him. He crossed his arms over his chest trying to hide his discomfort "I think you should leave."

Adam looked at him in disbelief before grabbing his coat and heading towards the door "Fine I'll go find someone else to shag. You probably don't know how anyway! That's probably why your ex cheated on you! You wouldn't give it up."

Kurt turned around and grabbed a pillow off the couch throwing it in Adam's direction as he made a quick escape out the door. Once he was gone Kurt collapsed on the couch and started to cry. What a jerk! He had no right to say that about Blaine. And he wasn't a prude just because he didn't want to do something that might lead to sex. He just hadn't been interested in Adam that way. In fact he'd never been interested in anyone like that. Except maybe Blaine, but he didn't count. Those feelings didn't come until they were already dated for a couple months. Although Blaine's kisses had always been amazing and effortless, and he'd always felt a spark there. Adam's were just...wet and it felt like work sometimes. Still Kurt was upset, so he did the only thing he felt he could do. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Blaine

_Kurt:_

_Do you think I'm a prude?_

He got a reply back in minutes.

_Blaine:_

_Of course not!_

_I thought you knew you were past your baby penguin days!_

_Not that you were a prude then either! You were just unexperienced. We both were._

Kurt wiped a few tears out of his eyes before responding with a small smile.

_Kurt:_

_Thanks_

_Blaine:_

_No problem! May I ask why you're doubting your fierce self? d;_

_Kurt:_

_It's nothing. Just something someone said_

_Blaine: _

_Well tell Santana to stop being mean or_

_..._

_Or I won't send my cookies back with you when you come next week_

_Kurt _

_Ransoming cookies? Clearly I'm rubbing of on you, Blaine Anderson!_

_..._

_You know what I meant. _

_Blaine:_

_I didn't say anything! _

_Although a prude wouldn't make that joke you know d;_

Kurt grinned down at his phone. Blaine always knew what to say. Even if Kurt accidently made an innuendo, he could get them out of it without making it awkward.

_Kurt: _

_You're awful._

_Blaine:_

_No I'm not._

_Kurt:_

_No you're not._

_For the record Santana didn't say it_

_Blaine:_

_..._

_Rachel? _

_Didn't Santana say she was dating a male prostitute?_

_Kurt:_

_It wasn't Rachel either_

_And for the record, I don't get it. He's really small, Blaine!_

_Blaine:_

_Is there a story behind that comment?_

Kurt let out a small laugh before responding

_Kurt:_

_He was sitting completely naked on one my flea market chairs Blaine! _

_I refuse to sit in it. So does Santana._

_Blaine:_

_I think I remember this story. _

_I thought you were going to burn it?_

_Brb Sam's calling_

_Kurt:_

_Not until Rachel replaces it! _

_ Okay. Go be nerdy with Sam_

Kurt smiled down at his phone. Blaine always knew the best way to cheer him up. He could almost forget about the jerk Adam, who turned out to be the definition of a 'Nice Guy' without the Fedora. And thank god. That man could not rock a Fedora.

Kurt was about to get up and get a tissue to wipe away the excess tears left on his face before they dried and did terrible things to his skin, when Blaine responded

_Blaine:_

_Do you mind if we pause our conversation? Sam wants me to come over so we can have a superhero marathon since Thor is coming out in a few days!_

Kurt laughed into his hand. Blaine got so cute when he was talking about his dorky hobbies.

_Kurt:_

_Are you going to dress up as Nightbird?_

_Blaine:_

_That's a good idea!_

_Kurt:_

_Show Marvel that Nightbird needs his own movie too?_

_Blaine:_

_Wait you're teasing me. :(_

_Kurt:_

_You love it_

When Kurt press sent, he couldn't regret it. He loved their playfulness. It was one of his favorite parts of their friendship. They couldn't let the past ruin it.

_Blaine:_

_I do. _

_Seriously though, Sam thinks I'm heading over right now so I've got to go._

_Kurt: _

_Alright Nightbird go fight crime with the Blonde-_

_What was Sam's alter ego again?_

_Blaine: _

_Chameleon._

_But we can't be using our secret identities, K! Hydra might find out!_

_Kurt:_

_You're ridiculous Bla- Nightbird._

_Go meet the Blonde Chameleon_

_Blaine:_

_Yes Sir! *Salutes*_

_Before I go Kurt, just forget about what that person said. You're the perfect you and if they can't see that. Well that's their own fault...While I'm still wondering what made them say that, I feel it was probably because they made you uncomfortable, and no one has the right to do that to you, Kurt._

Kurt sighed, feeling the tension flowing out of him as he read Blaine's word. He always did have a frustrating ability to read Kurt even through text, and say exactly what he needed to hear to put things into perspective. Kurt sent one more text before setting his phone down on the end table.

_Kurt: _

_Nightbird always there to help a citizen, isn't he?_

Kurt walked over the pillow he'd thrown, picking it up and dusting it off. Maybe he'd do a little cleaning before starting dinner. Eggplant parmesan, he decided. It fit with Rachel's vegan diet, but was still tasty enough that Santana wouldn't complain.

He let his mind wander as he cleaned and then started making dinner. But his mind wouldn't stop bringing up one thing: Why had he never been sexually interested in anyone but Blaine? There were plenty of attractive men in the city. Men who didn't have the same views as they did in Ohio. Didn't he plan to come to New York and find a boyfriend to do those things with before he'd met Blaine? No. That wasn't quite true. Before he met Blaine, he'd been dreaming about walking down Broadway holding hands or going to romantic places in the city. Now that he'd thought of it, he hadn't even thought of really kissing anyone. Not even Finn. He might have had that item on his bucket list about Taylor Lautner, but what did relations even mean to him back then? Certainly not sex.

That was weird, wasn't it? He'd hear guys and girls all over school talking about who they'd made out with or who they 'fucked.' God he hated that word. It was so derogatory for something that was supposed to be special and meaningful. But Kurt was still dreaming about a knight in shining armor and walking down a hallway holding hands. Kurt got a thoughtful look and finished up the prep for the food, before placing it in the oven at the appropriate temperature.

He quickly went into his room and got his computer. He quickly pulled up google and typed "why did I want to hold hands when everyone else wanted sex?" The first page all seemed to be dating sites, so Kurt tried again "Why do I not want sex?" It returned back almost the same types of results. Although one suggested that it was because he'd rather watch porn. But that wasn't true at all. He tried watching some with Blaine wondering if he'd have a different reaction than before they'd started dating, but he could only watch a minute of it before he asked Blaine to turn it off. The only thing he'd gained from that experience was a look into some of Blaine's kinks and a reassurance that Blaine didn't think anything less of him.

Kurt deleted his search and decided to take another approach 'Why have I only been sexually attracted to one person?' The first page filled up with links to asexuality websites. The first result was a page labeled 'Demisexual.'

Kurt clicked on the link in curiosity. He started reading and unconsciously nodded along. 'Does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone…most commonly seen romantic relationships.' That is definitely true. He'd only been attracted to Blaine in that way after they'd been friends and even boyfriends for months. Kurt continued reading as the post reassured him that it wasn't abnormal 'In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender;' Kurt looked at this part confused. Did this mean he wasn't gay then? 'However, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner'

"So he was Blainesexual then?" Kurt thought rolling his eyes in amusement "That really wouldn't do if he was going to try to get over him." Although he'd never admit it to anyone, recently he had started wondering if he should even try. He still made attempts, but Valentine's Day had been amazing with Blaine. And then he'd watched Moulin Rouge recently and he's mind had supplied him with them dancing to one of their songs. Blaine had been right in that hotel room, and he just hadn't wanted to admit to it.

Kurt continued reading until he saw a clarification 'Demis may also append a gender orientation to the label, as in "Demi-heterosexual"' that made sense. So he hadn't lost his gay card. He just needed to amend it. Kurt Hummel was a Demi-homosexual.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine had been engaged for months before Kurt's sexuality came up. They were both lying in bed cuddled together with Blaine as the little spoon when it happened. Blaine had his eyes closed completely comfort "Would you ever want us to have a list?"

Kurt let out a content sigh "What do you mean, honey?"

Blaine opened his eyes and turned over in Kurt's arms propping his head up with his hand. "Like you know in Friends? How Rachel and Ross were making lists? Like celebrities or people that if the opportunity arose…"

Kurt opened his eyes and frowned "This isn't your way of trying to get a free pass to-"

Blaine touched Kurt's arm gently to stop him from continuing that line of thought "No, not at all Kurt. I already told you, I don't want anyone but you." Kurt nodded and crinkled up his nose slightly as he felt Blaine kiss the tip of it. "I just meant…" Blaine shifted slightly and got a serious expression. "Well you've still got that item on your bucket list with Taylor Lautner."

Kurt laughed "Blaine, we both know we crossed that off the summer before I came to New York."

"You met Taylor Lautner?" Blaine asked pretending to be confused.

"No, he was just a place holder. I have you, why would I want some guy from a movie I don't even like anymore?" Kurt reassured taking Blaine's hand and squeezing

"Well I think we both know you watched it more for the shirtless men, than you did the movie" Blaine teased

Kurt shrugged "They're attractive. That doesn't mean I want to actually do anything with them. You don't actually want to have sex with Adam Levine or Tom Ford do you?"

Blaine gave Kurt a teasing grin "You do have a point. But that doesn't mean we aren't still looking into polygamy."

"You're ridiculous" Kurt playfully rolled his eyes.

"You love it" Blaine teased

"I love you"

Blaine turned over on his stomach so he could see Kurt. "And I love you" He darted forward and gave Kurt a small kiss. He could feel Kurt's smile against his lips. Once they pulled away though, Blaine continued "You really don't have anyone who hypothetically you'd want a pass for? Let's say maybe…Elliott?"

Kurt gave Blaine a frustrated sigh "Elliott is just a friend and you know that, Blaine."

Blaine held up a hand in defense "I know. I'm not trying to argue. Just hypothetically, if you'd met him before we got back together would have wanted to pursue it?"

Kurt looked a Blaine for a minute judging his sincerity before answering "No, I wouldn't have."

"You don't need to protect my feelings, Kurt. I can admit he's attractive" Blaine attempted to reassure

"No honey. I know I wouldn't have." Kurt said with conviction. "Remember that text conversation we had when I asked if you thought I was a prude?"

Blaine thought for a minute before responding "The one before we got together or the one when you were already living here?"

"The second one" Kurt confirmed "Basically Adam called me a tease and a prude because I accidently told him that I didn't want to make out with him or have sex with him."

Blaine let out an amused snort "Sorry I wasn't laughing at you, continue"

"You'll probably love this next part. Basically I realized a little after he said that, that I hadn't even ever been sexually attracted to anyone but you. I can appreciate men ascetically, and I had a big crush on Finn. And that small one on Sam."

"He throws everyone's gaydar out of whack I swear." Blaine commented thoughtfully "He even dated Santana. How does that even happen?"

"Well to be fair she hadn't fully come to terms with herself yet." Kurt conceded

"That true. Now let's go back to how you only want to have sex with me?" Blaine grinned cheekily

"Now don't be getting a big head, honey. Your bowties will start looking like they're the only thing holding it up."

"Does this mean your Blainesexual?" Blaine grinned widely

"I had the same thought, actually. And no we are not calling it that. It does way too much for your ego" Kurt smiled amused at how pleased his fiancé looked

"So what are we calling it then?" Blaine asked dropping the teasing tone.

"Well I did some research that day, and actually a little more after that. The term that seemed to fit was Homoromantic Demisexual. I considered the term Demi-Homosexual for a while, but then it just seemed like it was too lumped together. I had silly thoughts about Finn, but it never crossed over into the sexual realm. Especially after having to share a room with him for a week! The only time they really came together-"

"Was with me" Blaine finished giving Kurt a happy smile "All joking aside, figuring that out probably helped you sort out a lot of stuff right?"

"It did. It didn't help with my denial about you, though." Kurt said with an exaggerated sigh

"You were bound to figure out eventually that we were meant to be, Kurt. You didn't do it just because you discovered who you are." Blaine assured

"That was just an added bonus" Kurt agreed

"It does give more backing to my theory that we're soulmates." Blaine mused with a half-smile

"I thought it was our theory, you big dork."

"What's mine is yours" Blaine confirmed teasingly. Kurt let out a small laugh, which soon turned into a slight moan as Blaine swooped down to capture him in a lingering kiss. Kurt's mind stayed firmly in the present with fiancé and his amazing kisses.


End file.
